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by Eric S. Margolis
January 9, 2025
This exciting week, the man aiming to become king of everything made his first statements. Greenland should be bought by the United States. Canada needs to be sold to the US. The Gulf of Mexico should be renamed "The Gulf of America".
Trump has launched a race for imperial rebranding. France seeks the return of what was once called the Louisiana Purchase. "We sold it very cheap in 1803 for only $15 million because we went bankrupt financing the American Revolution against the cunning British." We want to bring it back - with interest. We also want parts of Kebek that were hijacked from the US. Long live France! ".
Not to be left behind, Spain and Mexico have united in a joint lawsuit seeking the U.S. return portions of Northern Mexico and California seized in the 1840s.
Mexico was forced to give over 55% of its land to the Americans. Former French nationalist leader Jean-Marie Le Pen, whom I interviewed in the 1980s, said to me: "You Americans have stolen California from Mexico." Now they are getting it back through immigration". "Un bon mot" (words with place), as the French say.
Spain has claims to California, which it once ruled. Spain also wants the Philippines and Cuba back. The Netherlands wants Manhattan and Upper Hudson Valley back. I attended an excellent Dutch school in New York, founded in 1635.
Germany seeks the return of its former colonies, Samoa and the Marshall Islands. Russia demands China to return the large naval base in Port Arthur (Lushun). Beijing also wants Moscow to return large regions of Siberia conquered in the 19th century when China was weak.
India, Pakistan and China all have big claims in Karakoram and Himalayas. Trump could solve these hot issues among nuclear-wielding nations once he understands where they are geographically located.
As for dark Africa, don't ask. Trump has called her countries “dirty holes” and she’s not too far from the truth.
His son-in-law, Jared Kushner, is busy trying to turn little Albania into another St. Tropez. It is also rumored that he could plan the same fate for the Gaza Strip, after figuring out what to do with its wretched inhabitants, nearly 50,000 of whom have been killed and 100,000 more injured by American weapons donated by the matuf old man, Joe Biden.
It would be nice to not have Israel’s far right hawks and their Wall Street financiers running the US presidency and Congress. We need some red-blooded real estate men. They know how to solve almost any problem building condominiums and casinos. They also know how to make mountains of debt disappear like magic. And to turn unused properties, such as Greenland, into useful and profitable investments.
Historical relics like the Panama and Suez Canals should be renamed "Trumpways" and placed under the control of the New York Port Authority.
Britain, now run by losers and perverts, in Trump, would be a great candidate for inclusion as the 51st state alongside Canada, or as the 52nd new state.
It's true that most Canadians don't want to be part of the USA, but offer them a 50% tax cut and send in the NYPD, which is bigger than the Canadian military, and their attitude will change. Also, Trump knows Canada well thanks to Fox TV. Canada will learn to love King Donald I.